Sometimes I forget how much I struggled with depression.
The other night, I pulled an old journal out of the closet and found this thing I wrote. It goes –
I slip to sleep to gain control of my miserable gloom.
To hold together what could fall apart really soon.
Hopefully my dreams won’t echo my fate.
Hopefully I’ll sleep long enough to escape.
I don’t remember when I wrote it but I do remember the state of mind I was in. I was horribly depressed. And the only relief I could get from the gloom I felt was through sleep.
More than anything I just wanted the pain to stop. And if you’ve ever dealt with severe depression then you know the pain I’m talking about. It’s impossible to explain with words.
If you would’ve told me, back when I wrote that poem, that things would get better. That the miserable gloom would lift and I’d actually enjoy life one day – I probably would’ve told you to f*ck off.
You see, not only was I terribly depressed back in the day but I was also angry.
Very, very angry.
But here I am. And although things are far from perfect in my life today and I still get depressed, I’m not in nearly as much pain as I used to be.
I bring all of this up because May is National Mental Health Awareness month.
So, if you or someone you love struggles with depression or anxiety or some other mental health issue I want you to know that life can get better.
And I don’t just say that because I read it in a textbook somewhere. I say it because I’ve been there and I live it.
Today, I’ve pulled together some of my favorite posts on the subject of mental health. There’s a whole range of topics for you to explore or share with someone you love.
I truly hope that what I’ve shared with you today will give you hope, inspiration and support. More than anything I want you to remember that we’re all in this together and you, my friend, are not alone:)
Until Next Tuesday,
Podcast – Life On The Other Side Of Suicide With Dese’Rae L. Stage of Live Through This