Have you ever had a day or a series of days where you just felt blah?
Where all you wanted to do is pull the covers back over your head, retreat into the darkness and let the world pass you by?
I mean who hasn’t felt that way before, right?
But when the source of your overwhelm is coming directly from the dysfunction and drama in your family – getting past that overwhelmed/tired/blah feeling can feel as impossible as spotting a leprechaun at the end of a rainbow with a big, fat bucket of gold.
In your head you may know exactly where you end and your family begins but in your heart, as you sit back and watch the drama unfold and denial takeover, you can’t help but feel helpless and tired.
If you can relate and you’re looking for a few tips on how to get out from underneath your covers and move past that bump of blah, today’s post is for you.
As always, your thoughts, insights and ideas are more than welcome in the comment section.
So once you’ve had a chance to read, share with me what you do when the dysfunction in your family gets to be too much and all you want to do is hide under the covers? How do you work through your bumps of blah?
Remember your voice, experiences and insights are vital to this community. And what you have to share is not only unique but it may be exactly what someone else needs to read. And that someone could be you.
Thanks for reading, commenting and sharing.
Until Next Tuesday,
#1 Keep An Eye On Your “Flow”
Now I know this first tip may not be of interest to the fellas but for the ladies you’re gonna want to pay attention to this one.
So a study out of UCL University found that women, during a certain phase of their menstrual cycle, are more prone to “repetitive and intrusive” thoughts then during other phases of their monthly flow.
Here’s what they did.
Researchers had 41 women between the ages of 18 and 35 watch a traumatic film. They then asked these women to report back on how often, days after the film, they experienced unwanted thoughts about it.
They found that women in the “luteal phase” of their flow (luteal refers to the 16 to 20 days after the start of your period) experienced loads more intrusive thoughts than the other women.
So what does this mean for you?
It means that stressful events that occur during this phase of your menstrual cycle could make you more vulnerable to them. And by vulnerable what they mean is that you obsess and stress about them more.
So if you’re feeling unusually overwhelmed by family drama, make sure you check in with your flow.
It could be contributing to that blah feeling you’re carrying around. You know the one that makes you want to crawl back into bed and bury yourself under the covers.
#2 Take A Family Vacation
If the thought of taking a vacation with your family made you cringe, don’t worry, this tip isn’t about actually taking a vacation with your family but taking one from them.
Here’s the deal. If your family is driving you to the point of overwhelm then it may be time for you to take a vacation from them.
A vacation could mean an hour, a day or even an entire week of no contact if that’s possible for you.
You don’t do this to punish them or to send a passive aggressive message but you do it for you.
You do it to clear your head. And you do it to reset and recharge distraction free.
Now keep in mind, if you’re able to create some space between you and your family just make sure that you’re also creating that space in your head.
So while you’re on vacation you don’t talk about, obsess about or replay anything your family said, did or didn’t do.
This vacation, unlike the ones you take to Disney World, are not family friendly!
#3 If You Can’t Change It, Change YOU
Maya Angelou once said,
“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
So let’s break this magnificent quote down and apply it to dysfunctional families.
It’s very likely, in a dysfunctional family, that coming together to talk about things we feel need to change isn’t a great possibility. Communication and problem solving aren’t hallmarks of families built on chaos, dysfunction and addiction.
Now that doesn’t mean that every dysfunctional family will always function in this way, there’s always hope, right?
But for now let’s work from this premise.
So if you can’t change or break through the wall of denial surrounding your family, what can you do?
You can change you. You can pull back and take steps in your recovery and your life that will benefit you.
You may already now this. This isn’t a new idea and it’s one that gets floated around the recovery world like clockwork.
But it’s one worth repeating, especially if you feel like you’re drowning in a pool of your family’s dysfunction.
Realizing how entrenched in denial and dysfunction your family is, is never an easy reality to accept. In almost all cases it’s nothing less than heartbreaking.
But instead of beating your head against the wall asking and wondering, why? Try redirecting that energy by asking, what?
What can you do for yourself on behalf of your own life and recovery?