How do you respond when someone gives you a compliment?
A) Tell the person to shut up as your face turns bright red?
B) Respond with a yeah right or a are you nuts?
C) Ask them how many drinks they’ve had that day?
D) Say nothing simply because you feel incredibly uncomfortable and unworthy of receiving anything that remotely resembles a compliment?
Me? I do an awkward combination of all of the above.
Like the other afternoon when I took a break to grab a coffee at my local Starbucks.
When I reached the front of the line, the barista, a bubbly blonde wearing glittery eyeshadow, looked up at me with a smile and said,
“I love your hair! It’s so cute.”
And instead of receiving the compliment I blurted out:
“Are you serious? I haven’t washed my hair in a week!”
The look on my face must have been a scary one because the barista instantly lost her smile and apologized. Leave it to me to get someone to apologize for giving me a compliment!
The good news is that feeling awkward about receiving compliments, although it’s a classic trait, isn’t limited to just Adult Children of Alcoholics. People from all kinds of backgrounds struggle with this too. So you are definitely not alone with this one.
The not so good news is that training your brain to relax and accept compliments is challenging, but every bit of effort you apply is worth it.
So if you’ve ever been told, “you need to learn how to take a compliment,” this post is for you. Today you’ll learn 3 tips that will shift the way you think about receiving compliments.
And of course once you’re finished reading I’d love to hear from you in the comment section.
How do you typically react when someone gives you a compliment? Any Starbucks barista stories of your own you can share? And if you have any tips that have helped you get cozy with compliments, share those too.
Leave your thoughts in the comment section.
Remember, your voice, experiences and insights are vital to this community. And what you have to share is not only unique but it may be exactly what someone else needs to read. And that someone could be you.
As always, thanks for commenting and reading!
Until next Tuesday,
#1 Ask An Expert
So often when we’re faced with a challenge we look to connect with other people that are struggling with the same thing.
Of course there are loads of benefits to doing this. One of the most obvious is that by connecting with other people that are “in the same boat,” we realize that we’re not alone with whatever we’re going through.
But there’s also great benefits to be reaped when we seek advice or guidance from someone that excels in an area that we struggle with. This approach may not necessarily work with all the challenges we face but when it comes to learning how to accept compliments, seeking out advice from people who do so with ease could be more beneficial then we realize.
For example, years ago, when I had the typical corporate desk job, I worked with a woman named Courtney. And Courtney had no problem accepting compliments. For weeks I watched as she seemed to flow through her day soaking up each and every compliment that came her way.
I was so in awe of her confidence that eventually I mustered up the courage to ask her how she did it. I wanted to know what was going on her head. I wanted to know what made it so easy for her to accept compliments without the slightest hesitation.
The point here is that I recognized an ability in Courtney that I wanted to cultivate for myself so I went right to the source.
So if there’s someone in your life that you admire for a specific ability, say accepting compliments, why not ask them how they do it?
#2 Just Be Willing
I know this may seem like a simple, no brainer tip on the surface but it’s no doubt an important one that can be applied towards any change you’re aiming to make in your life.
When it comes to learning how to accept compliments, sometimes it’s not about what we need to do or how to do it but just simply being willing to try.
So even if you don’t know how to right now, or instead of believing that accepting compliments will never be possible for you, why not just be willing to try?
When you’re willing to try, you automatically, almost effortlessly, become more receptive to new possibilities and ideas.
For example, if I was in the “willing to try” mindset when I was in Starbucks recently, I would’ve been more open to accepting the compliment the barista served up about my hair.
So instead of rejecting the compliment, as abruptly as I did, in a “willing to try” mindset, I would’ve been more aware and grounded in the moment. I would’ve been more willing to say thank you even if in that moment I didn’t really know how to accept the compliment.
Remember you don’t have to know how, you just have to be willing. And you can get started by simply repeating to yourself, “I am willing to try.”
#3 Pay The Compliment Forward
I definitely have difficulty believing the compliments I receive. I automatically assume that the person delivering the compliment is either full of sh*t or trying to manipulate me in some way.
For example, if we go back to my Starbucks moment, I automatically assumed that the barista was only talking about my hair to get me to spend more money.
When I admit that now, I realize that’s a pretty sh*tty thing to assume about someone that I don’t even know and who more than likely had no ulterior motives.
And I couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if instead of rejecting her compliment, I focused on paying it forward?
Instead of jamming my mind up with a million reasons why the barista was full of shit, what if instead, I remained open to receiving the compliment and just said thank you? And even if I still didn’t believe her, what if I took that as my cue to compliment someone?
What if I paid my compliment forward?
It’s something for you to consider the next time someone says something nice about you or something you did. Instead of analyzing, take that as your cue to pay the compliment forward in the most honest and heartfelt way possible.
Who knows what kind of impact, this simple act will eventually have on your ability to accept compliments.
I’ll be trying out this one right along with you! So, let me know how it goes:)