There comes a moment at the end of every year where I sit up and ask myself, where the hell did all that time go?
I mean, I have no idea where this year went, I feel like it was just yesterday that I was buying a calendar for 2017.
Anyway, in addition to wondering where the year went, this is also the time of year when people stuff themselves full with resolutions.
I’ve learned over the years that resolutions don’t work for me. No matter how pure my intentions are at the beginning of a year as soon as I fall short of any resolution I’ve made I immediately feel like a loser.
And that loser feeling ends up clouding most of the rest of the year.
And to be totally honest with you sometimes I think I’d rather get stuck in loser land instead of challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone and dare to try something new.
Yes, I’m completely calling myself out on my own sh*t and admitting that feeling like a loser and beating myself up for all that I didn’t do is a welcomed distraction for me.
Beating myself up is nothing new in my playbook. It’s typically my first reaction to any mistake that I make.
But I realized recently that all that noise I create in my own head and the habit of verbally lashing myself, although it’s painful, is something I’m comfortable doing.
It’s a habit and because it’s a habit I know the outcome. And somewhere along the way I decided that the pain of this habit is much more tolerable than the pain I might experience if I was challenged by something outside my comfort zone.
Being an adult child of an alcoholic, I like control and I like knowing what’s going to happen next. When I don’t know what’s ahead, anxiety takes over and my mind becomes a battle field.
And in a weird and twisted way indulging in this life long habit helps to soothe that anxiety.
In my opinion, this behavior is similar to the alcoholic or addict that reaches for their drug or drink of choice when they want to escape reality.
The realities we’re running from are different but our method of escape is similar although I realize that one is loads more life threatening and destructive than the other.
So here’s the habit that I want you to be on the look out for in 2018. What not-so-obvious habit do you turn to when you want to self-soothe or are afraid of taking on the challenge of something new?
What pain – emotional, mental or otherwise – would you rather take on when confronted with the unknown?
Now, please don’t get this twisted. I’m in no way implying that in every case what I’ve shared here applies. Some of the habits many of us have acquired over the years are there because they enabled us to survive the dysfunction and trauma we experienced.
I’m in no way suggesting that however you react is somehow a negative reflection on you. Because it’s not.
As I always say, within the context of your life you make complete and total sense.
But here’s what I am suggesting. If you know that a habit you have isn’t working for you anymore, it may be time to get honest with yourself and work on letting it go.
You don’t have to do anything about it right now, it’s just something to think about as you walk into 2018.
This is something I’m taking very seriously this year. And no, I will not be turning this one into a resolution:)
And now I’d love to hear from you.
In the comment section get real with yourself and share one habit that you know isn’t working for you anymore. Think about the less-than-obvious things you might be doing that keep you from moving beyond your comfort zone. What do you turn to when faced with the fear of the unknown? What level of pain are you settling for to avoid the pain of something new and challenging?
I’m looking forward to reading what you share.
The next time you here from me it will be 2018! So from the bottom of my heart I hope you have a happy and safe new year.
Thank you so much for being part of my life and this community. All of this wouldn’t be possible without you:)
More To Explore: